#268 – So, What’s Missing?

I sit in my quiet spot and ponder, “What WAS it about Elaine that I miss so much?” Why AM I so lonely?

I can cook well enough to survive. It’s not with her touch but it’s okay. I can now do the wash, and that’s not too bad either. (FYI, the average American washes the sheets every 40-days but I do better.) Cleaning escapes me but I get some help with that. And I remember to take the trash out on Thursdays.

I sure miss the bedtime snuggling, but at 82 the drive for moving into deeper expressions of marital affection is predictably not as compelling as it once was. I can live with that, but our frequented “hug spot” in the kitchen makes my arms ache. (I was walking into a store recently when a precious sister in Christ saw me, jumped out of her van and came over and gave me a holy hug, in public. It felt soooo good – but it’s not the same.)

Elaine’s femininity nurtured my masculine soul, and she received the reciprocal from me. I miss that so much too, but there’s something more. What WAS it, that came into a room, any room, with Elaine? There was a “presence,” but what was it? Or better, “WHO was it?”

“The two shall become one” of Genesis 2:24, Mt. 19:5-6 and Eph. 5:31 is a powerful, relational dynamic of creation design. It can only happen in its intended form when a man and woman who each love and serve God from the deepest part of their hearts, are united in marriage and become “one” in Him. “One” in knowing and serving the Lord God, which becomes their united purpose in life. A mutually satisfying oneness in flesh but also in spirit – which shapes everything about everything.

Many couples, even Christians, miss that and instead shape their lives around attempting to satisfy their individual selfish desires through things of the world – an effort which can only produce separation.

AND SO – –
And so, the Presence that came into a room with Elaine was the Spirit of Jesus in her, connecting with His spirit in me. When each is united with Christ, we become the One that we were created for. It is spirit-to-spirit companionship and I miss it desperately. “Dear Jesus – – -!”

I commend that to you, but it’s a life-altering, Eph. 5:22-33 choice at the foot of the cross. This also speaks to the Church, the Body of Christ, but that’s for another time.

Ken Stoltzfus
Jan. 9, 2023   
Printable PDF at: www.10minas.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/268.pdf

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  1. Steve Wingfield on January 9, 2023 at 4:28 pm

    Well said Ken! Thanks for sharing your heart. To be loved is a wonderful gift and I remember asking my mom after my dad died what she missed the most? As a big tear rolled out her cheek, she said, “I miss his touch”

    • 10Minas Blog on January 11, 2023 at 10:08 am

      Thanks Steve. And I know that you know what I’m talking about in your walk with Barbara. Stay blessed! Ken

  2. Karen Christensen on January 10, 2023 at 1:38 pm


    • 10Minas Blog on January 11, 2023 at 10:07 am

      Thanks Karen. Blessings to you!

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